When my daughter was born over 3 years ago, I just knew I was ready to be a mom. But a darkness soon fell over me and I found myself falling apart. My wake up call was when one day, my daughter cried uncontrollably – nonstop – and I started crying too. I couldn’t console her, no matter how hard I tried. I became frustrated and felt inadequate. I felt like a failure and I didn’t deserve to be her mom. I put her in the crib, went to my room, fell on my bed and cried. As the tears streamed down my face, along with hearing her cries, I felt helpless.
I called my mom, “Mama…helpp mee.”
She rushed over from work and to the rescue.
Fact: According to the American Psychological Association, 1 in 7 women experience postpartum depression. For half of the women diagnosed, this is their first time experiencing depression.
I isolated myself from friends. No one checked on me and I didn’t check on them. I felt alone and the weight of motherhood sat heavily on my shoulders. I remember when my friends had their babies, and I gave them space, to adjust to this exciting time in their life. But now in the same shoes, I realized, I would love if someone would just call me, see how I am doing, even if it was just to say hi.
Just call. I needed them. I felt soo alone.
Its hard not talking to an adult. I became fluent in baby talk and started to lose a sense of self. I didn’t have the strength to be social, but in my mind, I knew I was going to the wedding I was invited to or social gathering. But when the day actually arrived…..I did not have the will to get out of bed.
I let my friends down. I no longer received invites. I felt alone.
Is this motherhood?
I would cry at the littlest thing. What happened to the strong me? Yes, children are an Amana from Allah, but why was I so sad?
I needed a change.
To the Mom struggling with Postpartum Depression, this is for you. I see you. I hear you. You are not alone.
What can we do?
– We don’t have to face PPD alone. It affects women worldwide.
– It is not our fault. Do not be afraid to speak to your doctor.
– Find support in a friend, family member, mommy support groups and even facebook mom groups (these helped me).
– If there are thoughts of hurting oneself or baby, put them in a safe space (like a crib) and call for help.
– Call support hotlines (see below).
– Most importantly, don’t delay. Get help today. PPD is treatable. It is manageable and the beauty of motherhood awaits.
You got this Mama.
Everyone else, please check on your Mommy friend. We may seem like we have it together, but honestly, most days we don’t.
National Postpartum Depression Hotline 1-800-PPD-MOMS
Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-SUICIDE
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
Naseeha Youth Helpline: 1-866-Naseeha